punch-drunk latte

As a teenager, there was little that gave me the same sense of satisfaction that I derived from filling up a frequent customer card. From video rentals to subs, punch cards were the customer retention tool of choice for marketers in the '90s. Now, corporate behemoths like Starbucks arrogantly eschew the lowly punch card, and I find that there is little incentive for me to develop a relationship with my caffeine dealers. Today, however, I discovered that The Bean in the East Village is kicking it old school punch style, so now I am the proud holder of a stamped card. I can't believe that all I have to do is drink five more delicious iced coffees before I get a free one. You know, before today I was concerned that I might have commitment issues since the sight of the huge "John and Kate Plus Eight" billboard on Houston gave me cold sweats and made my uterus hurt, but thanks to this punch card, I believe I can stay in it for the long haul.